Fin.

Right, that's most definitely it for Africa this summer. I am done. So what have we learned this time?

Well, I've had the most fantastic experience. The first journey I made – through Southern Africa – probably had more in the way of sight-seeing. It was whistle-stop, but I saw so much, so many things. This trip was about the experience. I saw more wildlife, more animals, gorillas, but I also met people, both local and traveling. We ate with African people, had a drink or two with African people in a way that wasn’t too contrived. We saw the communities. The truck was awesome, and the layout was just what I envisaged. I had some very high highs and some desperate lows. I’m not sure I’ve made many lifelong friends, but I met some cool people, some indifferent people, and one or two rather unpleasant people.

East Africa itself is, I guess, much more like the vision of Africa I had in my head – lush green jungle, deep red mud, shacks at the sides of the roads. I had, on average, one warm shower in five, the camps tended to be tattier and suffering more from the effects of damp that those in Southern Africa. It’s beautiful, though. It’s not as wide open, there are fewer of those epic desert sunsets, but it’s more about the people. The constant smell of smoke, the litter, the colourful dwellings.

And gods, there have been people. As is often the case, I’ve learnt more about myself by sitting back and watching other people. I certainly learnt a lot in the last week. Have I changed? Not sure. Possibly. Certainly, I reckon I’m much more able to handle myself out of my comfort zone. What, then, is next…

…and while I think about that, some random awards…

• Longest Drop - Kemba Camp, Kenya: so long, I thought I had bladder control problems. Four seconds after you stop urinating, you can still hear it hitting the bottom.

• Shortest Drop award – Bush camp, Serengeti, Kenya: 'Don't point the head torch down the- MY EYES, MY EYES!

• Best sales pitch – young banana seller at the Ugandan border: 'Sir, maybe you need some potassium.'
• Biggest ‘open mouth’ moment – seeing Savannah, forty-seven-year-old Argentinian lecturer, walking up the beach in Zanzibar with a young local bloke before disappearing into the hotel.
• Most twisted anecdote: Derek tells us he paid 20USD to shoot a duck with an AK-47 in Cambodia. The duck had a weight tied to its foot so it could fly but, you know, not too much. That, however, sounded positively humane beside the Americans who paid 100USD to shoot a cow with a bazooka. Sick, but somehow amusing.

• Most overused phrase – ‘Hakuna Matata’: Is anyone reading this who visited Tanzania pre-Lion King? I’m sick and tired of hearing the bloody phrase, even when the context doesn’t appear to make any sense. Were Tanzanians using it quite so often before Disney decided to trademark it?

• Best Poster – Jinja, Uganda: ‘Avoid Morning Sex’
• Best Kiss: This one’s a toss-up between Betty, the Rothschild’s Giraffe, and an unknown Giant Tortoise (male). I think the giraffe just takes it – mainly because of its antiseptic tongue.

All for now. Oh, I looked my spear up on t'interweb. I was a bit disappointed, as it didn't really look like the Maasai spear I saw. Imagine how pleased I was to discover it's actually a Maasai Lion Spear...

http://www.authenticafrica.com/maaslionspea.html