!!!

South Lodge, Temeke, Liwale Street, Dar es Salam

Excuse my language, but fuck me, what have I got myself into? I'm in a small room with a double bed. There's about a foot and a half of space between the bed and the wall on three sides. I have a toilet – a 'muslim-style' squat toilet (i.e. a hole in the ground). The toilet is also the shower. I have a sink, though, and free condoms, cotton buds and 'perfumed jelly'. I'm not sure what sort of a night they were expecting me to have. There are two channels working: CNN and what I think might be porn – although the signal is of a similar quality to that in American Pie. I think I have made a bit of a mistake here, although I'm hopeful that it'll be something I'll look back and laugh about.

Last night was a tad messier than I'd planned. I eventually reached bed at around 2:30am. The next morning, I was feeling more than a bit hungover. I'd arranged to be on the same transfer as the Irish girls, at 9:30am. It's been a breath of fresh air to spend time with them – they have the sort of uncynical, unmalicious senses of humour that I've only just realised has been sorely lacking on this trip. They have a great line in self-deprecation, but there's no edge, and never any nastiness. They're great, and I wish they'd been on our truck. Anyway, minibuses came and went, but by 9:40 we were still stood outside Paradise Beach Bungalow. Now, I think this was the first stitch up of the day. A guy from reception handed us to another guy who walked us five minutes down the road. We now think that this was to move us away from the booked pick-up point and send us via another vehicle. By half past ten, we were still sitting outside 'Jambo Brothers' villas, with no sign of a taxi. It was always, 'five minutes, five minutes...' Eventually, as another driver offered to take us (at which point we said, 'Yes, but show us your vehicle!'), a minibus came screaming up. We hooned it back through Zanzibar, the driver stopping at three police checkpoints and only having to hand out bribes at one.

In any case, we reached the ferry in good time, and it was an uneventful journey over. The Irish girls, together with eight or so people who'd been staying in Stone Town, were all traveling on a big yellow 'Toucan Travel' truck. They were heading back to Makardi Beach Club, so I joined them on the local Kigamboni ferry and taxis. My plan was to stay the night there, then get an early taxi for my 5:30am flight. Sadly, I realised that the ferry wouldn't be running at that time of the morning, and that taxis to the airport needed the ferry, or else it was an epic journey round the bay. The three Irish girls were due to fly out tonight, so I jumped in the taxi with them to head to the airport. I agreed with the driver to find me an hotel close to the airport. I now have that. Oh yes I do.

After we dropped the girls off, a few things happened. My driver was dropped off to swap cars with another guy – his uncle, who spoke better English. We then picked up his brother. In hindsight, I should have had a hotel in mind, from Lonely Planet. Sadly, I hoped they could find me a more convenient hotel close to the airport. They have. Oh yes they have.

I think I'm in a township. This is like a motel, and quite incongorous amongst the tin shacks. I'm sure I'm the only white person for miles around. The brother went into negotiate for me. He said 40USD. I gave him 35000TSh (30US), and I still wonder how much he's pocketed. There was some to-ing and fro-ing over the taxi bills, and the fact that they capitulated to my cheap taxi ride for tomorrow morning suggests they've already made a lot from me. Oh well.

I shall not be leaving this room until 3:45 tomorrow morning, when I've agreed with the brother to collect me. I spoke to the woman at reception about food, but she speaks no English. The word for 'restaurant' from Lonely Planet got her on the phone to the kitchen. I've just had chicken and chips, although I think it might have been chick and chips. I'm very nervous about this place. Still, the guy should come tomorrow, as he'll be getting paid for it. I just have to get a few hours of sleep, so I'm going to bed in a bit. I can't tell you how much I want to be home. I shall be sleeping with my maasai club beside me tonight (and I'm really not joking). I'm half tempted to assemble my spear and have that ready by the door, but to be honest it's probably a bit unwieldy for such a small space. I think I may give my sister a ring...