Spice World

And so ends the most epic, fun, scary, emotional twenty-four hours of the trip. I am shattered, emotionally and mentally. Best I don't go into too much detail, suffice to say that when I wasn't trying to help, I was an uninvolved bystander. Where on earth do I start with this one?

I think starting on the beach might be the way forward. The Dhow turned up around four thirty, but still no sign of Phil, Anna and Ellie, who were still out on their scooters. After loading up, we waited for fifteen minutes for them, but with no sign we put out to sea. As we were passing the hotel, someone caught sight of Phil's t-shirt. Sure enough, they'd just pulled in. Ellie, legend that she is, immediately shed clothes down to her bikini, and dived straight off the steps. The crew turned the boat to intercept, and Ali managed to scoop Ellie out of the water – the current nearly removing her bikini bottoms. The boat pulled in to pick up Phil and Anna too, but kudos must go to Ellie for a stirling performance. This got even better when we asked her why they were late and, breathlessly, she explained she'd run a roadblock and had outrun a policeman on a scooter. Good girl.

The cruise was the usual fun combination of laughter, bitching, drinking and a bit of swimming. I'm busy justifying my dislike of Jess. I really don't think – and this is one of the worst things I could say about someone – I really don't think she's a very nice person at all. When she's had a few, she's incredibly obnoxious, demanding food and drink, swearing loudly and aggressively at people. I've also noticed she picks up on any self-depreciation and hammers it back at people. 'I bet we looked like twats on that scooter', I said at one point. 'Yes, you did.', she agreed, with absolutely no trace of humour. Yes, but at least I could get on without having to lift my gut clear of the handle bars. I think she's a bully, really, and there seems like a lot of hate tucked away inside.

Anyway, moving on to lighter matters (for just a few minutes), we were back for around seven, then we ate at a table on the beach at eight. Chollo's did a pre-arranged bbq, which was fantastic. We were feeling the love tonight, and everybody had a great time. 'Northern' Rachael even pulled a tall chap, and were last seen heading to the apartments, followed by a round of applause from the rest of us.

Things took a turn later on, though. By four, there were only a few of us left, and it was getting, in my opinion, a little seedy. I'm not going to name names, but one of the girls was that plastered, she told me she didn't want to be left alone. I was relatively sober, and we ended up chatting on for a while. Now, I have total recall of what happened, but at some point one of the others got a bit over-aggressive and, while there's no question it wasn't deliberate, the girl ended up hitting her head hard against a wooden bench, just under the ear. She burst into tears but never lost consciousness. In the end, I got her to her room and left her in the care of her roommates. I went to bed.

At 5:30am I was awoken by an urgent knocking at the door. The girl with the injured head had come to her room in a state. The girl knocking on my door was drunk, but was a nurse. She was worried. Luckily, I had Rob's number. I called him, he came out of his room, called Ali, who called a doctor. Despite the stress of the situation, I almost burst out laughing. the doctor had jeans, t-shirt and a white coat two sizes too big for him. He had a stethoscope. It was just like one of the local sunglasses sellers had dressed up for the occasion.

In any event, after much talking and examination, the girl was making more sense and, while she couldn't remember what happened, she didn't want treatment. I went back to bed.

I slept for an hour before going for breakfast. Rob was already there. 'Morning! Good night's sleep? Big night?', he asked. I smiled and shook my head. I took him aside and explained everything from my point of view, since he still wasn't sure on the details. I even have it typed out on this laptop, just in case I need it - that's how seriously I viewed this. I left it to him to sort.

So, I packed, then off on the bus for the Spice Tour. This was, as just about everyone finds, much cooler than you expect (because you can't get plastered on spices in the same way you get plastered on wine). It was a walk through a plantation, tasting and looking at spices. They had perfumes, a guy climbing a tree and singing, to cut down coconuts (apparently, they sing to warn people below, and to demonstrate they're not a thief). I had fun asking after every spice, 'Can you smoke it?' I also had a theory that the trees weren't spices at all, but that some enterprising local had come along and simply hung the relevant spices on the various branches.

Dropped at Stone Town with the others, fatigue and stress over the evening's events combined to have me on the edge of tears. Several people remarked that I didn't seem to be myself. It was odd that while everyone knew the girl had hit her head, no-one knew the circumstances. Someone asked the girl about it, but she didn't seem to remember anything. Eventually, I spoke to Rob again. Very quietly, he said it had all been dealt with and everyone wanted to forget it. He also explained that the girl did remember what had happened, and was deliberately feigning ignorance. I spoke to her later, and sure enough. So, all forgotten. I'm still not very happy about it all, but parties have apologised and there's no malicious intent. It's time to go, though. Time to leave.

Cocktails overlooking the sea, then dinner at the fish market, though. What an experience. Pick kebabs of various fishes, they bbq it for you and give it to you on a paper plate. Fantastic, all the noise, bustle and smells you'd expect. As we ate, a young local guy started talking to me. Reluctantly, I engaged him. I assumed he was trying to sell me something, but I went along with it. I couldn't have been more wrong. Bless him, he's an engineering student. He's highly ambitious, and comes to the market every night simply to talk to tourists to improve his English. I really admired him for that, and we talked for some time.