Tips for Russian hotel lifts

As with many of the facilities in Russia, the watch-word here is 'utilitarian'. The designers were given a brief and have followed it to the letter.

1. The lift will be clearly labeled with its capacity. In the case of the hotel, it's '4'. Now, that's four people. Technically, you can get four people in there, as long as they're standing with their arms by their sides and it's a good three hours since their last meal. They absolutely must not be carrying any bags. They may achieve a small degree of comfort if they're all naked.
2. You should only enter a lift if you're absolutely sure which floor you require. Decisiveness is expected – and practically required. Do not make the mistake of thinking you'll be given a second chance or any sort of 'cooling off' period because, once you press that button, the doors shut instantly and the lift takes off.
3. As mentioned, the doors shut with no pause and with crushing force. Possibly the 'safety precautions' section fell off the back of the original lift specification. This means that you shouldn't press the button until everyone's in. On the day we arrived, Neil, Seb, Dex and I were taking the lift to our floor. Neil and I got in and Neil hit '4', assuming, as you do, the others would still have time to enter. The doors nearly took Seb's arm off and the look of surprise on Dex's face as he was left in the foyer was priceless. The three of us in the lift fell about laughing.
4. The lifts are extremely fast. If you're going to a lower floor, keep the knees well bent as you lift arrives, to absorb the shock. Severe spinal injuries can occur if you make the mistake of simply standing up straight.
5. The lift will not remember more than one floor at a time. Choose two floors and the second will be lost as soon as the lift reaches the first selected floor. Several times, this has lead to people heading for their rooms being deposited back in the foyer.