Retrospective

So, it’s all rather exciting. The week when everyone rolls into St. A., in particular, should be great. Although there are always one or two issues, it’s always lots of fun. Last year, for instance, we had a rather interesting girl with us who, well, had some of her own rather special ‘issues’. Unfortunately, the issues turned out to be us. Actually, that’s harsh, but you know when you’re having a conversation and it gradually dawns on you that you’re not so much living on a different planet, as in a completely different solar system? An example? Oh yes. This one was on a ski lift…

Chris: So, what does your father do?

Sarah: He’s a philosopher.

(This was late on in the week, and at this, I was convulsing so much it was all I could do to stop myself slipping under the safety bar and plunging to the piste below)

Me: [Struggling to construct a sentence - desperate to ask whether he's freelance, but thinking 'diplomacy'] What, um, what does he…do…to-for money?

[Chris chokes silently in the background.]

Sarah: He’s an economist.

Me: Ah, o-kay.

You see, it’s like being asked ‘what do you do?’ at a party, and replying, ‘I’m a lover, not a fighter’ (and no, I haven’t.). It’s technically a reasonable answer, but it’s not what the questioner was driving at. Anyway, I don’t believe she’s coming this year. I’m also hoping to see Franzi, our guide last year, for a couple of days. He was a young Austrian bloke who found us some of the most amazing powder I’ve ever been in, and who yodelled at us across the valley when he was waiting for us. By day two, we had him shouting, ‘chop-f**king-chop’ at us, a-la Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. I actually had to spend some time debriefing him afterwards, explaining that ‘actually, it’s quite rude, and you shouldn’t say it to other English guests’. I’m worried we’re going to turn up this season, ask for him and be told, ‘Sorry, we had to fire him. He was swearing at the guests.’ Another big plus was getting to know Bruce a little better. A sample from a recent mail from Brewster:

“On the bright side, my new ride is a Lib Technologies Magne-Traction board with the craziest new geometry, the greatest advance in snowboard design in recent history. Check it out if you need a board. It's so sick. I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it!”

Now there’s a man who’s seriously into his snowboarding. No idea what he’s talking about, but I’m very excited about seeing him and his new board in action. I’m also rather looking forward to his boiled rice, although that’s another story.